misskittyspuffy:

xxromancegirlxx:

Okay. So apparently, out of Buffy’s relationships, Joss prefers Spike for pretty much the reason most of the fandom does: “exciting, passionate, interesting.” I’m actually surprised, honestly. I don’t disagree with why he likes it, I love Spuffy myself as my 2nd favorite couple in the show. But…

My two cents on the subject :) I think it’s not about how much she loved them, because I personnaly believe she loved them both very strongly, it’s more about the way she loved them. She wasn’t the same person when she was with Angel and when she was with Spike. Her ways of loving were different, and she was more or less demonstrative with each of them. The context was different, the kind of relationship was different, and I think Joss was aware of it.

I’m in the camp of those who think that you always love your first love in a more intense way. And that’s something you always keep with yourself, even if the person in question is not a part of your life anymore. The thing about Buffy and Angel is that their story had a lot of obstacles which made their story more intense, more attractive to them, and I think that’s a part of the reason why their story was so special to them, even years after. Because they never really had the opportunity to live it fully. Their relationship must appear as a “missed opportunity”. So, the moment they see each other again, they just come back to that kind of relationship, because they never really grew from this. They remain stuck in the past, “out of the reality” of their life at the moment. But I don’t believe it means they loved each other “more”, even if they might believe it or convince themselves of it. What they think they feel and what they actually feel might be very different.

I think that maybe Joss likes the complexity of the Buffy and Spike relationship, because in despite of their feelings, it’s not that simple. Loving each other is not as much assumed than it was in the Buffy and Angel relationship, which probably makes it more interesting, more textured. Buffy is a lot more on a defensive mode, she’s been hurt by the past, and Spike happens to be everything she shouldn’t fall for.

”I don’t know. I’m starting to feel like there is a pattern here. Open your heart to someone, and he bails on you. Maybe it’s easier to just not let anyone in.”
(Fear Itself)

Their story has been different in it’s construction. Buffy had more and more difficulties to open herself to someone in a romantic way (her quest in Intervention was about her fear that she wasn’t able to love anymore after all). But her love is actually “brighter than the fire” (side note : it’s fun to see how much Joss used fire as a love metaphor for Buffy, in Intervention, in OMWF and finally in Chosen) and “that’s why [Buffy] pull away from it” (Intervention). I think she was reluctant to let herself love openly, but I also believe that through her actions, she showed how much she loved and cared for Spike. It wasn’t about big love declarations, it was more about connecting with each other, being there for each other, without expecting anything specific at this moment. It was her way of expressing her love, even if she might not have been fully aware of it until the last moment. Buffy & Spike have been through a lot, and even them can’t define what they mean to each other.

Actually, I think Joss speaks of it very well in the Chosen commentary :

“The great Marsters has a chemistry with Buffy that is just completely different from Angel’s, and different than David’s, and yet works very, very well. He’s more on Buffy’s level. He’s more… Their vulnerabilities come out, and I don’t just mean as characters, but as actors around each other. And that really works, it works on a very different level. Their relationship has clearly been through a lot - much more, in fact, than her relationship with Angel, in a way. And you feel that history with these two.”

I think Joss is more interested in the journey, the quality of the relationship and it’s construction.

From what he said, Joss believes Buffy is in love with Spike. So I guess that fits with the way he wrote it.

Sorry, I went in all directions, I just wanted to express my view about it, I realize that I didn’t do it often on my tumblr :)